♠1st place: 2013 national association of newspaper columnists, humor columns: dumb & dumber, eat your feelings and semi-pro

♥1st place: 2012 national association of newspaper columnists, humor columns: far out, most alarming and i like mike

♦1st place: 2012 california newspaper publishers association, best columns: far out and most alarming

♣winner by default, 1966 brookview elementary school hula hoop championship, 3rd grader’s division

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